feeling oddly intact

it's strange feeling happy again and thinking about being with other people. i'm starting to back away from all of those inherent questions about relationships and expectations and what you thought you had versus what actually was. at the end of the day, i think we loved each other, but love didn't exactly make us perfect partners. and whether it's a matter of timing or of me just not being that extra special person, i can't know.

as the great justin bobby is wont to say, "truth and time tells all."

but in the meantime, i'm not really a masochist. not even in the service of love. i want to be happy, and that may mean being happy alone or happy with someone else. either way works for me.

say it with me, for justin bobby...

what i've gotten used to, is that, for the foreseeable future, i won't be happy with him.

and that's surprisingly okay.